just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
