Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
