Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
