I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
