I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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