ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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