please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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