it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
