Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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