I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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