She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize