you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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