fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
