I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
