oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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