if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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