No subtext here. People are naked.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
