dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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