lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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