So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
