Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing