My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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