So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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