She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize