Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
