areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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