I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize