You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
