i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
