Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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