so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
