I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
