Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize