He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
