problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
