man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
