this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
