Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
