No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
