spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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