Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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