We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
