i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
