I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
