how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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