Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm passing your future prison.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
