Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
