my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
