OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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