wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
