you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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