He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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