she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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