if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
