So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
