Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize