Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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