I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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