Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
