piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
