i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
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Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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