Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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