I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
