Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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