it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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