Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
