YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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