Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
