Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
FUCK WHALES
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
