Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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