I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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