please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize