oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
