You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
